She comes bounding into the bathroom holding two precious rolls. She smiles and says, "This is it." To which I respond, "It. Like, that's all?" "Yep Mom, there's no more." And away she goes. I finish up, change the roll and toss the trash. All the while I'm mulling this over in my head. We have little money, little toilet paper, and 4 people who use the facilities. Mathematically, we should be fine. There should be more than enough TP for to get us through.
But we have small children. Small children who find great joy, not in the use of the toilet paper, but in the playing with toilet paper. I have no ideas how many rolls have been lost to the bowl. Be it whole rolls tossed in to see if all the water would be absorbed. Rolls unwound to see just how long it truly was. Rolls that were "accidentally" knocked into the toilet on "accident" and then placed on the back of the toilet in hopes that the "accident" wouldn't be noticed. And rolls that were used, well, for their traditional purposes.
This usually happens when we get to the end. Some poor unsuspecting person, usually me, is forced to discover that we are almost out of this precious commodity. We buy toilet paper in bulk. At Costco. Because it's cheap, and I only have to buy it once a month or so. I don't have to think about it. It's just always there. Ready and waiting to be used.
For some crazy reason, as I sat there today mulling over our lack of toilet paper it struck me. God gave us just enough. Just enough to get us through to payday. Some might say coincidence. Or luck. I say, provision. He didn't have to let the toilet paper last. He didn't have to give us just what we needed. But He did. Because He loves us.
He gives us what we need. It may not be what we want. But I have what I need. I need a roof over my head. I want, so badly, I want a house of my very own. To paint, to decorate, to build memories in. But for now, I have been given a duplex. I can't paint and I haven't decorated, but we're building memories. I want, I so badly want a van to transport my children in. But for now, I have a car. A nice little sedan that does its job. I want, so badly, I want new furniture. With the exception of my first daughters crib, we have never bought nice, new furniture. Everything we have is a hand me down of some variety. But, it serves its purpose.
I suppose, in some way, God's provision is kind of like toilet paper. It's always there. We don't often think about it. It just is. Unlike toilet paper, God's provision never runs out. It never goes away. It's always there. God has provided for us in so many ways. He has provided me with a loving husband, a home, incredible children, a church family that I love, parents and siblings who are amazing. And He does it not because He has to, but because He wants to. Because He loves me. He provided me with a Savior who loved me enough to die for me. Not because He had to, but because He chose to. I am eternally grateful for His provision. Even if it takes running out of toilet paper to remember to say thank you.
